White wedding and traditional wedding vs real wedding

Now that I’m grown I realize how wrong I was. A wedding is just a ceremony to commemorate the union between two people and in Africa two families.

In Ghana, a wedding ceremony cannot take place if the families of both bride and groom do not give their blessing. The man’s family goes to see the woman’s family and when the woman’s family (especially the father) agrees they hand out a list of items to be purchased which we commonly know as ‘bride price’.

Now in our culture, once the man’s family presents these items to the woman’s family and they are accepted, the man and woman are now husband and wife, that’s not an engagement that’s marriage.

So if that’s marriage why do we have to do the white wedding in addition to feel that we’re married? Some say it’s beautiful, some say that’s the real marriage.

Let’s set the records straight, both are real marriage ceremonies, and depending on how you organize it both are beautiful.

If someone marries traditionally they don’t need a wedding to make a complete it’s just a matter of choice.

Now the question of whether you’re married if you don’t have a white wedding, yes you are married not engaged. An engagement is when a man goes down on one knee and asks you to marry him, in western culture, in Ghana an engagement is where a man brings his family to the woman’s family and declares his intentions to marry her, the family of the woman then presents a list to the man’s family.

The moment the man provides all the things on the list and presents it and they’re accepted, he’s married to the woman any other celebration the couple chooses to crown their marriage is a choice, a matter of preference.

One is just Western culture and the other is our culture.

So don’t break your back, if you can’t afford a white wedding just go sign in court because no matter how you do it at the end of the day you’re still married and it’s about you two, not everyone else.

Don’t start life with debts and spread yourself thin just to be married, remember that life is about to begin for you two and there are a lot more expenses to be made so if you can’t afford don’t feel pressured to do it.

At the end of the day, you’re still married and that’s what matters.